Family Recovery

By: Lisa Mugford

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Recovery is a process. All of us in recovery are at different stages and in different places. We follow our own path with guidance from our peers, our family, and our communities.

Lamoille County is a community which supports recovery with many resources. The North Central Vermont Recovery Center in Morrisville supports all paths to recovery including writing, art, and music. That being said, I want to share a couple writings by my 23- year- old daughter, Emma. Emma is in recovery at this point in her life and I am so very grateful. Addiction in my family is prevalent, touching all of us. With many prayers and a lot of recovery work, I am proud to say my family now celebrates recovery.

Here are just a couple powerful writings my daughter Emma has created to express herself in her recovery. We hope they can help others who identify in some way.

 

The Moons Behind My Eyes

Look into my eyes and notice –
they are darker than a nightmare,
swimming with secrets and thoughts
that I can’t tell you because they would make you shiver,
because for some twisted but understandable reason
these negative forces feed into the part of me that wants to be punished
for who I am.

Nobody wants to feel this way unless it,
for some reason, becomes familiar and even safe
to feel this way
But even then…

To remember this, helps:
We all seek belonging
in a world where we are all connected
yet at times feel painfully alone
We are all born from the stars
My heart is made of angel wings
My skin is birch bark that peels in the summertime
and my lips – the petals of a white rose
What are you made of?

My eyes have turned black as the thoughts race through my veins,
ache in my stomach But behind my eyes are two full moons,
and the moon never ceases to appear,
glowing through the dark

Warriors

You say I’m a warrior
But why do I feel like the war zone itself
Tangled up with ashes and blood
There goes a stream of dark tears
Watch it turn into a river I swear
It will

You say I’m a warrior
But I’ve been killed in my own war many times
The will to live resuscitating my body
Afraid to die, afraid
To live
Like this

You say I’m a warrior
I’m trying to believe
I am courage, light, spirit

Thank you for saying that I’m a warrior
Sometimes it takes another warrior
Who has also been through trials and immense suffering
To remind you that you’re one, too

You say I’m a warrior
Please look in the mirror
Let’s stand together
Our smoky eyes of war
Gleam with peace

Both poems by Emma Benard


Lisa Mugford volunteers and works part time at The North Central Vermont Recovery Center in Morrisville. The Recovery Center provides a supportive, welcoming, safe, and substance-free environment for individuals and families on their paths to lasting recovery from drugs and alcohol. Lisa writes for the Recovery Center, which means her blog posts are inspirational, real, and sometimes heart breaking. She lives in Waterbury, VT and owns a business in Stowe.

About the author

Live Well Lamoille
Live Well Lamoille

The Live Well Lamoille blog is a collaborative community effort. We hope you find this blog to be a valuable resource and use it to share information and encourage one another to make healthy choices.